There is a sizable difference between feeling productive and feeling accomplished. When I started writing this post, I made notes, lots of notes only to watch the words sit in an open browser tab for longer than I care to admit. The truth was, while I was productive in prepping I hadn’t actually actually started writing and doing THE THING. This was productivity measured in busyness versus actually making progress toward a goal. Prepping for too long makes the joy of doing the actual thing disintegrate. At some point you need to move instead of planning the details of the move.
My Working Definitions
Productive - “i did a thing”Accomplished - “ i did a thing and it made me feel _________”
Wait, I Know Tools that Can Help!
I tried many organizational and productivity tools and processes. They would very much work and make me feel like I was doing something for a while. Overtime, eventually I would spend so much time optimizing, creating every backlog item possible (just to get it out of my brain) that it would become overwhelming. During all of this, I was still getting things done, but I was constantly forcing something to work whether it be a tool or an app. It was similar to moving uphill or walking in mud while telling myself that working hard and output quantity SHOULD make me feel good. Hell, it should make me feel SOMETHING.
But it just made me tired and feeling like I wasn’t focused on anything other than what was in front of me right now.
Then What?
I started asking myself:
What did I actually want to work on?
What was preventing me from doing those things?
Why was I feeling so hollow when I clearly had done so much?
For me, I enjoyed work that was impactful. Specifically work that: had made something better, helped solve a problem, where I learned something and made some kind of connection(s). When I examined how I spent my time by reviewing my daily list of actions, it was very heavily in prepping (busyness) and less so on execution (accomplishing). This was still really valuable (and needed) but in order to move into something that was professionally and personally satisfying I wanted to do things that felt important to me (in my life, in my role, as a human).
The Next List was Really Hard.
The next list I made was reasons for being focused on these other things. I had been in so many reactive jobs (like as a System Administrator) my brain had wired success criteria to be about super reactive problem solving. This seemed to limit my ability to work in increments towards different (non-reactive goals). Additionally my anxiety was incredibly gifted at making lists. The constant collecting data and list making became a security blanket suffocating my ability to bravely work towards my own vision and goals.
Are you Asserting Something?
Introspection is more valuable than tools and processes to determine what makes you feel accomplished. The actual feeling of accomplishment might be different for you, (mine is joy) but if you are feeling stuck in the “productive yet unfulfilled” swamp, figuring out how you got there is your key to getting out.
Kind of a Quadrant Thing?
To get some perspective, I created the four rectangles in the image below. Each is labeled “Valuable”, “Accomplished”, “Busy” or “Burned out”. You could also do more conventional quadrants if that suits you better.
I then wrote in activities that made me feel that way. This is my first draft:
Examples include feeling “burned out” when I have too many meetings that do not have enough value to me. Note that many of these things are not work related. I realized I also felt accomplished when I lifted weights or went for a run.
Let’s Hear it for the Post-Its!
I didn’t quit making lists all together. I now have a list of 1-3 things on a post-it note that I want and/or need to get accomplished every day. Just a few things instead of the huge unrealistic list for my day. One of those things should be something that I am legitimately excited about and is pushing something important forward. I can be mindful, driven and not just busy. Turns out, the list is shorter but I do actually have more output now.
I have to say that this analysis has radically changed how I approach my work, my level of pride and multiplied the impact I have been able to have. I have become more optimistic because I feel like I am working on things that are meaningful to me professionally and personally. Work and personal projects feel more authentic when they align with what drives an individual and what they value.
As a side effect, I am much more eager to move forward with something rather than putting all my energy into creating the mythical “perfect plan”. A leap of faith to start something incredible is easier when you are able to take smaller steps incrementally. In that case, you can learn instead of the busyness holding you back.